Revenge on Behalf of an Easy Target
by Corpse in a Coffin
Summary: It was a point of honor for James Potter and Sirius Black to never let anyone get away with messing with one of their friends. As such, it came as no surprise when they stalked Mulciber all the way to the Slytherin common room.


'Ello, mortals! Here's this story-thing.

It was written for Lamia's Return of the Daily Weird Prompt Thing competition, using the prompt _cactus_.

Disclaimer: I don't own _Harry Potter_.

XXX

"Is that a cactus on your _face_?"

Sirius and Remus looked up from the sheets that dictated their next prank on the Ravenclaws at James' startled exclamation to see Peter, standing shame-faced at the doorway, with what did indeed appear to be a cactus attached to his forehead. It stood about a whole foot from his skin, and Peter almost looked as though he was ready to start blubbing.

Remus was the first to scramble to stand up. He hopped across the sheets in the floor to get to Peter and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright? It looks like it hurts," he said sympathetically.

"Who did it?" asked James, just as Sirius said, "What the hell happened?"

"Mulciber. I was on the way here from the Owlery. I needed to send a letter to my mum."

"Does it hurt?" Remus repeated softly.

Peter blushed and said "no," but that meant he was lying. It had to have hurt at least a little bit. "Don't touch it, though," he added hastily.

"Alright," said James. "Alright. Remus, would you mind taking Peter to the hospital and getting Pomfrey to take a look at it? Sirius and I will go after Mulciber."

Remus frowned. "We should go to a teacher." It was a characteristic protestation from Remus, but James could tell by the tone of his voice that he knew them too well to know that they were going to act on his advice.

"Bollocks," said Sirius. "We're going after him. Marauder's honor, and all that."

James nodded. "Sorry Remus. Peter, did you happen to see where Mulciber was going?"

"I think he said something about the Slytherin common room."

"That's easy. Don't worry, Pete," said James bracingly, "we'll get him back. I can't guarantee we won't get in detention, but it'll be worth it."

Peter grinned gratefully. "Thank you, James."

"Do _try_ not to get in detention, at least," said Remus.

"We'll try," Sirius said with a wink.

"Come along, Peter," said Remus as he led the other boy out of the dorm. James could hear his voice giving reassurances that Madam Pomfrey was a very good Healer all the way down the stairs.

"What are we to do?" asked Sirius in a voice that suggested he already had an idea of what James was going to say.

"Almost lunch," said James happily. "Shall we take the Cloak? We can stalk him from there." 

"Absolutely!"

James grabbed his Invisibility Cloak from the trunk at the foot of his bed and swung it around so that it covered him and Sirius completely. When the two of them were both satisfied that they would not be seen by bystanders, they set out.

They arrived at the Great Hall early by a few minutes, but they did not have to wait long for the first students to come pouring through the doors. James and Sirius inched to the nearest corner towards the Slytherin table to watch as they sat down in threes and fours. Waiting for Mulciber to come in was nearly torture, but finally, about three-quarters of the way in, he came to the front of the table, sat down, and began to eat.

"What do you suppose took him so long?" asked Sirius after a few minutes passed. He didn't bother keeping his voice down, as the noise of the Hall was so loud that no one would hear him in the corner.

"Most likely nothing pleasant."

Finally, Mulciber stood up from the table. Evan Rosier seemed to ask him a question that held him back briefly, but he then continued on his way. James and Sirius waited until he was a few feet in front of them before they followed.

Mulciber led them down corridor after corridor, and then into the dank dungeons they went. Soon after they were deep under the Black Lake, and finally they came to a stop at a damp brick wall. The two friends knew from experience that if they wanted to sneak into the Slytherin common room all they had to do was sit back and be let in.

"_Merlin_," said Mulciber, and the entrance to his common room opened. James and Sirius quickly followed him into the cold and gloomy residence before it closed back up.

James couldn't believe that it was empty except for a Slytherin girl in the year below. The other students must have still been in the Great Hall or, more likely, enjoying their weekend off outside.

The two friends only had to glance at each other to know what the other wanted to do. James tore off the Invisibility Cloak. The soft _swishing_ attracted the attention of both the girl and Mulciber. The latter spun around in a manner that did not suggest he was surprised at all. Sirius was quick to Confund the girl on the couch so that she sat there, staring blankly into nothingness. She would not interfere.

"You really shouldn't go around hexing my friends," said James, leveling his wand with Mulciber's face.

"Not Peter," said Sirius disdainfully. "He's sort of an easy target."

James elbowed him roughly.

"And you shouldn't be an insufferable prat," the surly boy returned.

"I bet you think that's frightfully clever, don't you?" mocked Sirius. "Have you been waiting your whole life to use that one?"

He growled.

"Shut up, Black, you filthy blood-traitor. What would your mother give if you were in here as a Slytherin? But alas, you're just a stupid Gryffindor."

"As if you have any right to talk about parents. How long has it been since your daddy sent you an owl, hmm? I suppose he's been too busy with the ladies on the side to pay attention to his family. Shame."

Mulciber's face colored to an awful shade of puce. "Shut you trap!"

He moved to hex Sirius, but James was faster. _"Stupefy!"_

The red light hit him before he had a chance to move or to utter a defensive spell, and he fell to the ground in a great heap. James and Sirius grinned and high-fived one another. He grabbed the Cloak and turned to get out of the door, but they did not bother to put it back on.

On they walked, talking happily about overcoming yet another Slytherin in their exploits, when Sirius walked right into Slughorn. He fell down with an _oomph_.

"What are you boys doing all the way down here? Not getting into trouble, I hope?"

They shared a look.

"Actually, sir, we've just been to see Mulciber. We had a meeting with him," said James.

"A meeting. . . ."

"Yes, sir."

Slughorn looked very uncomfortable, and it was clear that he did not wish to get involved. He meandered around them, heading for the direction of his House's common room.

When he was out of earshot, Sirius said, "D'you think we should just go and fess up?"

"Nah," said James. "Not when there's a chance Mulciber'll wake up and won't spill the beans. He knows if he does we'll talk about Peter, and I doubt he wants to spend a night or two in detention."

Sirius nodded. "Fair point."

XXX

"I suppose I was wrong about him," mused James as he and Sirius dusted the portraits of a scarcely-used corridor. On the opposing side was Mulciber himself, lazily undergoing the same punishment. He did not look overly joyed.

"Being a Slytherin, I'd have thought he would think about what consequences there would be if he told."

"I knew he was stupid, but I didn't think he was _this _stupid."

"You were wrong, James. We both were."


End file.
